Rick Perrry, I have good news and bad news

The bad news is that I still cringe thinking about this commercial you made for your ill-starred presidential campaign.

The good news? Almost 800,000 people "disliked" it!

Jim Morin has slain Dick Cheney

Via.

Heart by Dick Cheney: "The heartwarming story of how advanced medical technology repeatedly saved the life of a rich, privileged public official who is opposed to health insurance for the less fortunate."

Larry Pittman is the Small Mind of the Day

Representative Larry Pittman (Republican, North Carolina) was on the topic of whether Barack Obama is a “traitor” to his country. And then he made a funny!

"Someone had posted something with a picture of Barack Obama and across it said 'traitor.' And, you know, I don't always agree with the guy, I certainly didn't vote for him but I gotta defend him on this one. I just don't think it's right at all to call Barack Obama a traitor. There's a lot of things he's done wrong but he is not a traitor. Not as far as I can tell. I haven't come across any evidence yet that he has done one thing to harm Kenya."

So he's a racist, Birther nitwit. What is it with North Carolina these days?

Welcome to the face of the Republican party

Don Yelton, a Republican Party official in North Carolina, thought it’d be a good idea to appear on “The Daily Show” and defend his party’s new voter-suppression law. It didn’t turn out well for him or the state GOP.

Yelton, who’s practically a caricature of himself, told Aasif Mandvi the new state voting law is intended to tilt elections in Republicans’ favor, used the “n” word, referenced “lazy black people that wants the government to give them everything,” and said, in all seriousness, that one of his “best friends is black.”

Though Yelton resigned from his post, he told a local television station that he stands by his comments. “This is being picked up in Raleigh, across the state,” he told WLOS in Asheville. “They’re trying to say, ‘Look at this guy. He’s racist.’ The whole question isn’t about racism.”

Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

"Hey, hey, LBJ, how many jokes did you tell today?"

This joke was a favorite of President Lyndon B. Johnson's:

An elderly man needed a heart transplant, and his doctor told him there were three choices available. There was an 18-year-old athlete, a 22-year-old dancer, and a 75-year-old banker. 

The patient asked about the politics of the banker and was told he was a Republican.
Upon getting this information, he chose the banker's heart. 

The transplant was successful, and afterwards, people asked the elderly man why he had bypassed the hearts of younger men.  

To which he replied, "I wanted a heart I knew had never been used." 

*rimshot*

Maine: Home to ne'er-do-wells?

"About 47% of able-bodied people in the state of Maine don't work."

—Maine Governor Paul LePage (Republican)

"... so I said, 'Yankee doodle-dandy THIS, motherfucker!"

History does not reveal what joke Queen Elizabeth II made at this 1983 state dinner. But Ronald Reagan's enjoyment of it is giving me ideas.

Texas needs MORE Republicans like Ted Cruz? But it already has them!

Texas is so full of crazy, it’s only a matter of time before it swings back to sanity. Right? Gail Collins has a nice rundown of the recent disgraces of Texas’ Republican politicians—and it doesn’t even include Senator Ted Cruz!

Representative Louie Gohmert angry that John McCain didn’t support the government shutdown, said McCain “supported Al Qaeda” in Syria. (McCain brushed it off, because “if someone has no intelligence, I don’t view it as being a malicious statement.”)

Representative Steve Stockman, accusing the president and House Democrats of “curb-stomping veterans.”

Representative John Culberson crying “Let’s roll!” in the move to shut down the government (and invoking the battle cry against 9/11 terrorists.

Representative Pete Sessions, who summed things up rather neatly with: “We’re not French. We don’t surrender.”

Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst: “I don’t know about you, but Barack Obama ought to be impeached [sic].”

Greg Abbott, Texas attorney general and gubernatorial candidate, on the attorney general’s duties: “I go into the office, I sue the federal government, and then I go home.” (Photo via.)

Fun Friday Site: The Tea Party Insult Generator!

Collected from comments left on John Boehner's Facebook wall:

DOUBLE-CROSSING LIBERTY-HATING TURNCOAT

KOWTOWING BENGHAZI-DENYING TRAITOR

ANTI-AMERICAN RINO BASTARD

...and more!

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia believe in the Devil?

From a New York Magazine interview:

Scalia: “I even believe in the Devil.”
Question: “You do?”
Scalia: “Yeah, he’s a real person, [but] it is curious. In the Gospels, the Devil is doing all sorts of things. He’s making pigs run off cliffs, he’s possessing people and whatnot. And that doesn’t happen very much anymore … You’re looking at me as though I’m weird. Most of mankind has believed in the Devil, for all of history. Many more intelligent people than you or me have believed in the Devil.”

It'd probably be better to just speak for yourself, Chief Justice.

Some dude in Preston, Missouri is the Small Mind of the Day

Hoo boy.

Ha!

The Clowns of the GOP

Flickr user WMxdesign has a set of photos showing Republican politicians in clown make-up.

And it's sort of awesome.

Hall of Shame: Ronald Reagan

The year was 1961, and Ronald Reagan concluded a speech by warning of something so dire, liberty was about to become an endangered species. This menace had to be stopped!

“If I don’t do it, one of these days you and I are going to spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it once was like in America when men were free.”

What was the menace? Medicare. Yep, the program that provides aid to the elderly. And Reagan hated it so much, he starred in anti-Medicare infomercials for four years!