God, Guns, Greed, & Golf

There really is evidence that conservatives think differently from, er, non-conservatives. And that's fine! I'm all in favor of divergent thought patterns. But conservatism often leads to small-minded thinking—and the worst varieties of American small-mindedness rotate around the four G's:

1.) God. A meta-analysis of IQ scores shows that religious people are generally less intelligent. But of course, not ALL people of faith have small minds. Many of the devout are thoughtful individuals who consider the wider perspective and understand that we have a moral imperative to take care of this planet. Religion provides comfort and meaning in their lives, enriching it without poisoning it. It's what I'd call a "healthy delusion."

So what ratio of religious individuals feel this way? I don't know. What sounds fair? Fifty percent?

And even for these enlightened folks, they still have to park their critical thinking skills outside the door of their church, synagogue, or mosque. Oh, and forgetting history helps, too. As Daniel Boorstin said, “No agnostic ever burned anyone at the stake or tortured a pagan, a heretic, or an unbeliever.”

The percentage of Americans who consider themselves atheist, agnostic, or unaffiliated has nearly tripled over the last generation. It's clear that more and more people are coming to the same conclusion Albert Einstein did in 1954:

"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this."

2.) Guns. Gun enthusiasts are the most grandstanding motherfuckers around. They derive great satisfaction entertaining paranoid confiscation fantasies. Then they say things like, "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers."

This is a bit like the free-speech advocate who says, "I disagree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

So the gun enthusiast makes his empty boasts knowing that affairs will never get to that point. What a preening, narcissistic clown.

3.) Greed. Lambasted frequently on this site.

4.) Golf. This is the most environmentally damaging sport on the planet. Do you know how many U.S. golf courses DON'T pour gallons of fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides on their grounds every day?

ONE!

Additionally, golfers are bores. They have egg white in their veins and feathers in their skulls.

Oh, and I dislike their pants.