Joshua Black is the Small Mind of the Day

Who is Joshua Black? Oh, just a candidate for Florida House District 68.

Why do we care about him? I guess because he wrote this:

"I'm past impeachment. It's time to arrest [Barack Obama] and hang him high."

Is Joshua Black a Republican? Why, yes, he is actually. Why do you ask?

Are all Republican politicians gun-toting, coke-snorting, beer-bonging frat dudes?

I didn't say anything about Texas State Rep. Drew Darby (R) "facing a felony charge after he attempted to take a weapon through" security at an airport.

And I managed to hold off on running with the story about Tea Party fave and "hip hop conservative" Trey Radel (representative from Florida) getting busted with cocaine at the airport. Jon Stewart did a nice piece on him—see below.)

But THIS is too much:

That's a guy from Minnesota named Stewart Mills. He is married, but the woman in the photo isn't his wife. Stewart is (was?) a Republican congressional candidate. Asked about his good judgment, he went into classic GOP evasive maneuvers:

"It's no secret that in the past I've let my hair down to have fun with family and friends. My wife and I have had many lighthearted moments in our lives but right now I am focused on my Congressional campaign and the disastrous effects of our overreaching government and sky high unemployment in the north eastern Minnesota."

Now pick this up at 2:34.

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Matt Gaetz is the Small Mind of the Day

The gentleman's mugshot.

The Florida legislature has put together a House subcommittee hearing to discuss the state’s “Stand your ground” law.

Great! The leader of the House is State Representative Matt Gaetz (Republican). And Gaetz has even promised a “fair debate” on the issue. But what’s his take?

 “[I do not want to change] one damn comma of Stand Your Ground.”

Oh, come on, Gaetz! Not even for “Stand, Your Ground”?

But seriously, what merits his dishonor as Small Mind of the Day is Gaetz's take on the SYG protesters in the Florida Capitol.

“I think you have protesters in the Capitol today who are protesting without a whole lot of knowledge about the fact patterns associated with Stand Your Ground. They are protesting for the sake of protesting, and we shouldn’t capitulate to that.”

Yes, if only the professional protesters knew more about “fact patterns” they’d be all in favor of more gunslinging. Because, you know—fact patterns.

Ted Yoho is the Small Mind of the Day

The other day, Representative Ted Yoho (Republican, Florida) brought up an Affordable Healthcare provision that allegedly imposes a 10% tax on tanning bed use. Yoho maintained that this is a “racist tax” that discriminates “because of the color of my skin.”

Over here is Yoho’s account (with audio), during which he’s chatting with John Boehner:

[Boehner] goes, “I didn’t know [the tax] was in there,” and I said, “Yes, it’s a ten percent tax.” He goes, “Well, that’s not that big of a deal.” I said, “It’s a racist tax.” He goes, “You know what, it is.” I had an Indian doctor in our office the other day, very dark skin, with two non-dark skin people, and I asked this to him, I said, “Have you ever been to a tanning booth?” and he goes, “No, no need.” So therefore it’s a racist tax and I thought I might need to get to a sun tanning booth so I can come out and say I’ve been disenfranchised because I got taxed because of the color of my skin.”

BTW, you may be wondering just how white Ted is. Oh, he's just sort of white.

Hmm. I guess he's actually fairly white.

Oh, who am I kidding? Ted Yoho's whiter than a motherfucker.