Begging your indulgence: Follow me on Twitter!

Vatican Museum

In the Roman Catholic Church, “indulgences” reduce the amount of time devotees believe they will have to spend in purgatory. And I was taught that purgatory sucked as hard as hell—the only difference was, at least you got out at some point and got to go to heaven.

I also remember learning that clergy sold indulgences in the Middle Ages—they were your basic “Get Out of an Unpleasant Afterlife Free” card. What I didn’t know till today was that indulgences still exist. Catholics can shave seven years off their time in purgatory by days climbing the Sacred Steps, in Rome.

It’s not even fun to mock this kind of nonsense. Even so, I was surprised to read this article in the Guardian:

In its latest attempt to keep up with the times the Vatican has married one of its oldest traditions to the world of social media by offering "indulgences" to followers of Pope Francis' tweets…. 

But attendance at events such as the Catholic World Youth Day, in Rio de Janeiro, can also win an indulgence. 

Mindful of the faithful who cannot afford to fly to Brazil, the Vatican ... has also extended the privilege to those following the "rites and pious exercises" of the event on television, radio and through social media. 

"That includes following Twitter," said a source, referring to Pope Francis' Twitter account, which has gathered seven million followers. "But you must be following the events live. It is not as if you can get an indulgence by chatting on the internet."

Right. Because that would be ridiculous!