God, Sarah Palin is dumb.

“Our free stuff today is being paid for by taking money from our children and borrowing from China. When that money comes due - and this isn't racist, but it'll be like slavery when that note is due. We are going to beholden to the foreign master.” 

—Sarah Palin

Reason #47: Why poor people are superior to rich people

As the poor are not going to leave large amounts of money behind, nobody is anxious to see them die.

Rick Perry, I don't think that word means what you think it means.

“He needs to stand up in front of the American people and say, you know what? I perpetuated a fraud on you.”

—Texas Governor Rick Perry, perpetrating word misuse

Rand Paul just got his ass—and credibility—handed to him by Jon Stewart

The Daily Show
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"Gun & Ammo" publishes thoughtful essay on gun control—and the writer and editor get tarred and feathered

Dick Metcalf penned an essay on gun control in Gun & Ammo. It was the last thing he'll ever write for the magazine, though. He's fired! His editor is fired! They suck!

Typical reader response: “Anyone who says 'I believe in the Second Amendment but...' are not friends, they are not frenemies, they are enemies of The People of the Gun.”

"The People of the Gun"? What's wrong with the simpler "Batshit People"?

Here's Dick Metcalf's piece. Warning: It contains inflammatory passages like this:

Way too many gun owners still seem to believe that any regulation of the right to keep and bear arms is an infringement. The fact is, all constitutional rights are regulated, always have been, and need to be.

Frank Zappa's shout-out to radical Islam

"Dumb All Over"

Whoever we are, wherever we're from, we shoulda noticed by now our behaviour is dumb
And if our chances expect to improve it's gonna take a lot more than tryin' to remove the other race or the other whatever from the face of the planet altogether
They call it "The Earth" which is a dumb kinda name but they named it right 'cause we behave the same
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over, yes we are, dumb all over, near and far, dumb all over, black 'n white, people, we is not wrapped tight
And nerds on the left, nerds on the right
Religious fanatics on the air every night, sayin' the bible tells the story and makes the details sound real gory about what to do if the geeks over there don't believe in the book we got over here
You can't run a race without no feet
And pretty soon there won't be no street for dummies to jog on or doggies to dog on
Religious fanatics can make it be all gone
I mean it won't blow up and disappear, it'll just look ugly for a thousand years
You can't run a country by a book of religion
Not by a heap or a lump or a smidgeon of foolish rules of ancient date, designed to make you all feel great while you fold, spindle and mutilate those unbelievers from a neighbouring state
To arms … two arms?
Hooray! That's great, two legs ain't bad
Unless there's a crate they ship the parts to mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (Get down)
Not his, not hers but what the hey
The good book says, "It's gotta be that way"
But their book says, "Revenge the crusades"
With whips 'n chains and hand grenades
Two arms, two arms
Have another and another
Our Cod says, "There ain't no other"
Our Cod says, "It's all ok"
Our god says "This is the way"
It says in the book, "Burn and destroy"
And repent and redeem and revenge and deploy and rumble thee forth to the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
'Cause they don't go for what's in the book and that makes 'em bad
So verily we must choppeth them up and stompeth them down
Or rent a nice French bomb to poof them out of existence while leaving their real estate just where we need it to use again for temples in which to praise our god, 'cause he can really take care of business
And when his humble TV servant with humble white hair and humble glasses and a nice brown suit and maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls, tells us our god says it's ok to do this stuff, then we gotta do it
'Cause if we don't do it we ain't "Gwine up to hebbin"
Depending on which book you're using at the time
Can't use theirs, it don't work, it's all lies, gotta use mine
Ain't that right?
That's what they say
Every night, everyday
Hey, we can't really be dumb if we're just following god's orders
Well let's get serious, god knows what he's doin'
He wrote this book here and the book says, "He made us all to be just like him"
So, if we're dumb, then god is dumb and maybe even a little ugly on the side
Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side
Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side
Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side
Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side

Rand Paul just challenged me to a duel?

"I take it as an insult, and I will not lie down and say people can call me dishonest, misleading or misrepresenting -- I have never intentionally done so and like I say, 'If dueling were legal in Kentucky, if they keep it up, you know it'd be a duel challenge.'"

—Senator Rand Paul (Republican, Kentucky)

What's he talking about? Oh, just the fact that he's a plagiarist.